Tag Archives: heartache

Hoo Roo

22 Jul

The fire’s creeping up on the west side of the property; it’s roaring like a steam train.
The horizon’s a deep orange, dark and fierce as I’ve ever seen.
Above the cracking and splintering of the flames I hear the door open.
“Would you like a cuppa?” she asks.
I lean back in my boots, stretching out my arms.
“Trev” she repeats raising her voice “would you like a cuppa?”
“No thanks”
The porch creaks under her feet.
She puts a hand on my shoulder as she’s done many times before; I tense up like an old bull.
More often than not I’ve sat on this porch wondering what runs through the woman’s mind. Sometimes a bloke needs to be left alone.
Down the back corner some roos jump east towards Barks creek. The fire must be scaring the shit out of them.
“We’ll have to leave soon” she says.
“That’s the bleeding obvious, isn’t it?”
Shrugging free I head down to the shed. I hear Ed’s collar and claws scrape the deck.
The northerly’s blowing ash into the yard. Can’t be too far away now.
I’m gunna be sad to see this lot go up. These gums must be 100 years old. They’re tall bastards too; in strong wind they’re real dangerous. One night one of them gave way, dropping right next to the shed. It’s lucky the cows were in the paddock or there would’ve been meat everywhere.

“Trev” she yells, running towards me.
“Fucks sake woman, what is it now?”
“We have to go” she says, catching her breath.
“Just calm down”
“Trev!” she squawks.
Ed and I jump with fright.
She begins to sob and falls to ground, her dress pulling tight against her knees and waist. Hair drops over her face like an upturned mop.
She’s just like an old gum in the wind.
Ed jumps excitedly around her.
“Fuck off” she screams, slapping his two front legs from underneath him.
He yelps and bolts for the porch.
“I can’t do this anymore Trev”
I stub my smoke and look down on her.
“What the hell do ya mean?”
“This.” she says impatiently. “Everything. I’m not doing this anymore.”
She slides her hair behind her ears looking me in the eye.
Turning away, I notice the black horizon.
She must’ve seen it too.
“We have to go” she says standing up, brushing herself down.
I stare at her, unmoved, shaking my head as she passes.
“Come on Ed!” I yell, signalling the ute’s tray.
I start the engine and light a smoke.
She gets in and shuts the door without saying a word.
She doesn’t look at me.

Johnny Grass

20 Jul

Johnny lay back on the grass.
The air was humid, his singlet stuck to the small of his back.
The view of the stars was blocked by the tall wild heads. They swayed and danced in the breeze, not settling on any god damn angle.
In his mind he’d been here before, alone, pondering thoughts and actions from the past.
The past happened over and over. Over and over it ran through his mind.
He swore he was going crazy.
Three damn weeks he’d been feeling like this and that was after the torn, worn out saga of painful jaggered communication.
He hated her. He hated himself for loving her.
He was falling out of love with her.
A little of what they shared died inside of him each day. It fell like ash onto his soul. He was sick of the torment, of feeling guilty, of feeling something for her that she didn’t share, that she didn’t return.
Time apart – initially while he was away, and then while she took leave.
Different paths they had taken far away from one another.
All her words of kindness lingered on like a bad smell in a lift.
How dare she do this to him, how dare she do this?
Cut contact 100%. Cut contact 100%.